


Looking Forward

by WriterOfWords21



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Both big youtubers, Emotions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, M/M, Rey is ball of sunshine, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, They don't hate each other, YouTube, but they don't like each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-06 05:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13404108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterOfWords21/pseuds/WriterOfWords21
Summary: Rey has spent her whole life being a nobody from nowhere. She decides she wants to be more than that so leaves to find a new home and create a better life for herself.She meets great friends like Finn and Poe and Rose.They are all youtubers but so is Kylo Ren and he's a bit harder to get along with.Rey and Kylo Ren keep clashing and despite her friends thinking that he isn't worth their time, she can't help but feel drawn to him.





	1. A New Hope

Rey had always been nobody. Nobody and nothing. Her childhood constantly reminded her that. Her life was a reminder of that. Rey had always been the poor orphan girl and that's all she was ever expected to be. Everyone expected that the greatest achievement in her life would be to no die alone, covered in old alcohol and surrounded by broken bottles.

Nothing. Nobody. That's all that had been expected of her. It didn't take long until that's all that she expected of herself. 

Nobody. Nothing. Lost in a place nobody had ever heard of and where nobody wanted to know. Surrounded by the worst kind of people.

When she was a child, each night haunted her with nightmares about her future. Where she would go. Who she would be. Rey never wanted to be like any of the people she knew. One day, she decided she decided she wouldn't. Rey decided to change her fate.

So she left.

Rey didn't go far, she didn't dare to. She had the money to go far, not a lot, but enough that she could've gone to the other side of the country. But she didn't. An invisible tether tied her to the town she once called home and as much as she wanted to cut it, she couldn't.

At least she was away. The grass was a bit greener and more flowers grew but she saw desperate looks in strangers eyes as she passed them and she knew that at its core, this town was no better than the last. As long as it was far enough away from everyone she had ever known, it was enough. Far away from the reminder of who she was.

This was a time to make a new start. To be a new person; a better person. Everything was going to be better. Rey had hope.

As she walked into the new town she would soon call home, Rey walked past the window of a shop and out of the corner of her eye she saw something strange. Something she'd seen before but had never owned.

So Rey walked into the store and bought her first camera.


	2. Friends are Family

Rey had become known for her variety of videos. Speed paintings and vlogs and collabs and her unusual fashion and beauty videos. What stood out most about Rey though were her three buns that ran down her hair. It was Rey's signature style and every video that she had her hair in any different style would result in a stream of comments focused solely on her hair.

_Why is your hair like that? Put it back to how it should be._

_Where are the buns, Rey? You need three buns in your hair. Exactly three._

Making videos had become Rey's life, they were a constant part of her everyday life. She put everything into her videos. Luckily, she got out what she put in. As she started to become better known, she started meeting more and more people for potential collab videos.

Amongst these people was Finn. Finn then introduced her to Poe and Rose and they became friends until they became more than friends. They were her family. This small and unusual family.

They were nothing like how Rey had thought family was, they spent time with her and when she was with them, she felt happy. It was a shame that she lived in England and they lived in America. Rey was alone, most of the time but she was used to it. It wasn't like she never saw them, they all spent time together every couple of months and seeing them made her heart beat so fast she thinks it's going to explode but every time she leaves them it breaks her heart.

Which is why, even though she's spending the first week of September in America with her friends and she knew she should be happier, there was still the thought in her mind that reminded her that she'd have to leave soon.

Everyone was gathered on the sofa, it was barely big enough for all of them but they didn't mind, they just wanted to be together, even if it means they have to deal with a little less space. It had become a habit that Rey would half sit on Finn's lap while he leant into Poe and Rose sat on the other side of Poe and let her legs drape over him. For a brief period of time, Rose and Rey sat in each other's spots during the brief period that Rose and Finn dated and although there were no bad feelings between them, there was a silent agreement that it would be better if Rey and Rose changed where they sat.

When an advert for Halloween appeared on the television they all let out a groan.

"It's not even October yet. It's barely September. Why are they thinking about Halloween?" Rose moaned.

Rey let out a small laugh as she said, "It could be worse," Rose raised her eyebrows, waiting for what could be worse. "It could've been a Christmas advert."

Rose made a disapproving sound and buried her head into Poe's shoulder. He laughed in response. "Stop it, stop it." Her voice wasn't clear but they could still her protests and it just made them laugh.

In the laughter, Finn turned to Rey and his eyes turned serious. "Talking of Christmas, what are your plans this year?"

Rey didn't have a response to his question. "Why?" she asked.

Finn paused so Poe filled the silence. "We're inviting you to spend Christmas with us. You spent last year alone and you're not doing it again. We won't allow it."

Rey rolled her eyes. "I already spend way too much time in America. If I spent any more time here then I think I'd be living here."

"Maybe you should," Finn suggested. He had never hidden his desire for her to join them in America, he hated where she lived and he wanted to be able to be close enough that he could see her spontaneously and not just at well-scheduled intervals. "I mean, what's keeping you there?"

The answer was nothing, there was absolutely no reason for her to stay in England. There was no real reason except for misplaced hope in people that had never even cared about her. There was always a shred of hope that one day her parents would return for her. It's why she never moved more than twenty miles from where she grew up. Where she was left. Where she was abandoned.

"England's my home," Rey told them, "I can't just leave." It was a lie, England wasn't her home and she had never found somewhere to truly call home.

"We understand, I understand, I wish I didn't it's just," Finn had to pause before he could continue. "It's not the same without you. Christmas won't be the same without you either, so please, say you'll come," Finn pleaded.

Tears started to well in Rey's eyes. "I would love to spend Christmas with you." Her voice cracked. "Thank you," she whispered as Finn pulled her into a hug.

"You're welcome, peanut." This caused Rey to laugh despite the tears in her eyes.

Poe and Rose stood up at this point, only to move closer to them and jump on them to join in the hug. Rey's circulation was cut off and she could barely breathe but she would endure it to savour this moment. She felt completely loved.

Poe, however, decided it was better to break the moment rather than let her and Finn suffocate so he got up and told them, "We are so lame. It's a Friday night and we are not lame. We must socialise. We must join society and drink so much that society rejects us and quickly as we joined it."

The response was less than enthusiastic cheers.

"If you don't get up in three seconds I will jump on you all and crush you to death."

They were all up in less than a second.


	3. They Meet

Rey stared into the camera lens, not sure what to say next. She had been alone for only a day but it was like the warmth from her life and apartment had been lost. Her friends were the warmth in her life. Fortunately, she also had the people behind her camera who watch the videos she creates.

The theme of the video was just meant to be a simple discussion video, talking about her life and answering various questions that had been asked but there seemed nothing good to talk about.

Her life had known pain and misery but Rey tried to keep her videos full of happiness and laughter. It was the best version of herself that she allowed the world to see.  
Most people only knew the good and happy parts of her, almost nobody knew of the darkness that had lived deep inside her for years. It was the part of her that she pushed down and ignored; when she could.

When Rey was alone, it was harder to ignore and it kept seeping to the surface. Tears started to well in her eyes without her permission but she blinked them away with a growl of frustration.

Rey stood and grabbed her coat as she quickly rushed out of her apartment and onto the city streets which seemed endless and limitless.

The neighbourhood was nicer than anywhere she had ever lived before, the ground wasn’t made up of broken cobblestone and covered in litter and she didn’t have to worry about her neighbours asking if she wanted to buy pills and drugs from them.

The air felt fresh and crisp. Everything felt knew. Rey had only moved a year ago but it felt like hope and she could still feel that hope.

There was a noise where she had wondered to, she recognised the park she was in and she looked across the large area of land covered in perfectly green grass.

Rey had always meant to go there more often but it was never a priority because she knew she could go at any time she wanted to.

When you live so close to something, it never seems as special. It was an irony that haunted her while thinking of her friends.

Something was unusual about the park today though. Instead of people walking past it, a small crowd was gathered around something Rey couldn’t quite see. Rey started moving closer, curious to see what had gathered everyone.

Two faces amongst the crowd seemed familiar. They were in the centre of the crowd, the point that everyone circled around. The various people held up phones taking photos and videos while looking ahead in awe.

Rey stopped. She knew how she recognised the two figures.

Hux. Kylo Ren.

Although she had never Kylo Ren, she was familiar with Hux. They had met a couple of years ago and exchanged numbers. They were both YouTubers, it seemed like the conventional thing to do but after only a few texts Rey knew that their relationship would be restricted to those texts.

There was a gasp. “Look, it’s Rey,” someone exclaimed. Rey wished she could sink into the ground and disappear. Other people started turning their heads and looking at her.

Rey was familiar with meetups, she had done them a few times before but they were usually with her friends at her side to support her. And usually, her being at meetups didn’t mean accidentally disturbing someone else’s.

Unsure what to do, Rey raised her hand to do a small wave and muttered a small, “Hi.”

At this point, Kylo Ren and Hux noticed her too and glanced at each other. They were only looking at each other for a few seconds and it looked like no more than a few words passed between them before they turned back to her.

“Rey,” Hux said, “Don’t be shy, come over here.”

Rey hesitated.

Kylo Ren held his hand out in Rey’s direction, “Come on. Join us.”

Rey moved towards them and the crowd split for her. She hugged Hux like they were old friends and smiled at Kylo.

Hux spoke first, he had always made himself a large presence who demanded to be heard. “Now, everyone needs to gather up. We are going to take a selfie and see how many people we can fit in it.”

Kylo and Rey glanced at each other and rolled their eyes at Hux. Kylo was one of the few people Rey felt at ease with almost instantly.

“We better listen to him,” Kylo told her. “If we don’t do what he says then he’s going to get in a mood and then I’m going to be the one who has to deal with him.”

Rey had a good time. All the people that she was surrounded by made her forgot how much she was missing Finn and Poe and Rose.

When it ended, she was surprised that they asked her to have drinks with them at a nearby pub.

“Of course, you’ve got to come, Rey, you’re local. You know all the best places to drink,” Hux insisted.

Rey laughed and agreed. It was only a quick walk to Rey’s favourite pub, she led them in and they all ordered drinks and sat down. They then ordered more drinks and then Hux drunk even more.

Rey and Kylo had decided to go for moderation. Hux had decided to drink as much as he could.

Hux sat on the floor, not bothering with the chair that was right next to him. Kylo and Rey laughed at him. When he declared he needed to piss it took him a considerable amount of time to rise from the ground and refused any help.

Then it was just Kylo and Rey.

Rey decided to break the silence first, “So, why did you decide to come to England?”

Kylo laughed. “Are you complaining?” Rey raised her eyebrows as a response. “We decided to travel, wanted to see all the places you’re meant to see before you die. Life is unpredictable, you never know what’s going to happen next. This way, we can say that we did all the things that you’re supposed to do, no matter what.”

It was a beautiful speech. “That sounds nice,” Rey told him. “I’ve only been to two countries before. It would be nice to see more.”

“Someday,” he told her. It sounded like a promise. 

“Someday,” Rey responded. “I mean, I haven’t even moved more than a hundred miles from where I was born.”

“Why would you stay here? It’s not like you couldn’t move away, I know how many followers you have. This isn’t exactly a great place to live. It’s near nowhere good.”

“It’s my home.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “It’s nowhere.”

Rey knew she being naïve and stupid. She shouldn’t have let herself imagine that he was seeing her for more than she was. She couldn’t hide how she wasn’t good enough. She shouldn’t have let herself think that he was thinking of them spending more together.

He knew who she was. He knew Rey was nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remeber, this only focuses on Rey's perspective and thoughts and how she views things.  
> I'm trying to update semi-regularly.


End file.
